Halloween ; Helmet Head

Here are some pictures of Lizzie and my Halloween costumes. Derek's mom painted the broncos on my head and I made Lizzie's football costume as a swaddle blanket and my sister made the hat. Doesn't it look like a swim cap? The boy's costumes will be on the family blog.

Day 7 of Round 2

So I am hoping the second hurdle is over, well at least with the headaches, bone aches and fatigue. The thing that is more challenging is to wait until the next Chemo and hope that I don't get sick until then. It seems like the more I go out of my way to avoid getting sick the more it happens.

I just figure I should continue to make life as normal for the boys as possible but I don't think that is working as well as I would have hoped. I don't know if it is just them being 3 and getting older and into a different stage or if it is because of what we are going through and the lack of mommy's hair; but they just seem to be more defiant and whiny then they use to be. They will start to whine and cry at the drop of a hat right now. Don't get me wrong they are wonderful little boys but it's getting to be a river of tears over here. And yet It is so much fun to listen and watch them playing together now. They love Scobie Doo and they will play act Scoobie and Shaggie and rescue each other.

Lizzie is such an amazing baby! Last night she slept 8 hours again. This is her 4th night in her 7 week life that she has done that. She has been cooing and smiling a lot lately. She started about 2 weeks ago but she has really hit full bloom now. I don't have that many of my own baby pictures so I don't really have a comparison to see if she looks more like me now. I have to admit I have been greatly blessed with my family. Even with the whines they are so wonderful and I couldn't have found a better husband (just don't tell him I said that).

Gone is the hair and the 2nd Chemo

Before Picture








During











After



As I wrote before we shaved my head on Monday and the boys helped daddy do it; well they held on to the clippers for a little time while he actually shaved it. He left hair for a mohawk but as you can see it wouldn't spike very well and a lot of hair was coming out as I put the gel on it; so I decided we should just shave the whole thing. Later I shaved it like Derek's face; but I now have a huge selection of hats and scarves.

Yesterday was the 2nd Chemo treatment. It only took 6 hours this time as apposed to the 8 hours it took the first time. When I got home I felt so tired. I feel tired today but hopefully that will clear up soon. I also got a flu shot on Tuesday along with the boys to help us not get as sick. The next Chemo is November 8th, I believe. After that I will be half way done!!!

Hair today gone tomorrow

How cheesy am I? I just had to write it. Anyway, today is the day that Derek is going to shave my hair. I am finally getting use to myself with this short haircut. At least one of the wigs that I have is pretty similar to what my hair looks like at this length, but straight. After I wrote last my hair started really coming out. I would run my fingers through it and get at least 15 hairs. Now it's more, and when I woke up this morning my pillow was full of hair. I am also shedding every where especially on Lizzie; I keep finding my hair all over her. I think it would be harder to see some bald spots and some hair. So, tonight for Family Home Evening Derek is going to shave my hair into a mohawk and the boys hopefully will have fun with Mommy's funny hair for a little while.


Lizzie's blessing was great. We had a lot of our family and some of our friends come. She looked so cute in that dress! Too bad after sacrament she had a very bad explosion in her diaper, the good news is that she had a onsie underneath so it didn't get the dress.
So the next time you see me I will be a bald lady. But hey at least I don't have to worry about curling doing my hair! (To see more pictures of everyone see our family blog)

Day 16

Well, I have been waiting for day 15 and it came yesterday. The reason is because Eliza, a new friend who went through breast cancer with twins, told me that she started losing her hair on day 15 after the first chemo treatment. Yesterday was my day 15 and I had a few more hairs then I would have liked come out after my shower when I was rinsing out my hair. Also my scalp feels like I had my hair in a ponytail for a really long time and I just let it down; it's also very itchy. I don't know if it is just me being paranoid.
Yesterday afternoon I went to the cancer center for my second CBC (cell blood count). I saw Dr. Kanard and she was very optimistic, except for my hair. She said after pulling a clump out that I will probably want to shave it in a few days. That makes me a little nervous! Lizzie is going to be blessed in church on Sunday and I am hoping that I will still have hair and not just in some places. Lisa, one of my nurses had cancer and lost her hair but she didn't want to loose it so she said after the 3rd treatment she had so few long hairs that she looked like Smegal from "Lord of the Rings".
Anyway, my white blood cells are good 11.4; and my hemoglobin count is 17 something. I also found out that I can get a flu shot as long as it is before next Thursday which is my next Chemo treatment. Dr. Kanard and the rest of the nurses were really funny because they told me that next time I needed to bring Lizzie with me because most patients at the Cancer Center were old and they rarely see babies. She said that if I didn't live so far away she would have made me go home to get her. I told them that it's a good thing that I'm not saying who is looking after the kids (my mother-in-law, who lives about a minute, if that, away). They laughed and said that I better bring her next time.
I think that is about it for this week. So far as you can tell the hardest part about this whole experience is thinking about loosing my hair. It's a weird thing how we women are so attached to our hair; but it is apart of who we are. I think the other thing that is so hard to think about and picture for that matter is loosing my eyebrows and eyelashes. Their both black and it will be so weird to have to draw eyebrows in.
I still feel so blessed everyday to have such a wonderful support system. My patriarchal blessing says that I will have people who love me wherever I go. I know it is true now. I also think it is such a wonderful thing to have the comfort of the Holy Ghost. To know that there is a plan for me and that I was probably a part of it and to look at this from a bigger perspective it makes all of it easier to deal with. I love you all and I thank you for looking over me.

Day 8: CBC

Well I made it to day 8 and I am not feeling as horrible as I thought I would. I had a slight fever that made my hands swell on Saturday night but it went away pretty quickly. I have not been nauseas or have had diarrhea which I guess are things that you usually get from the Chemo. I did however come down with a cold along with Isaac and Lizzie. Lizzie has been sneezing and coughing and when she is awake she is not so happy; which is not typical for her. Isaac had a runny nose and his voice is even deeper than normal.
Today I went in for a white blood cell count and the nurse said it looks good. She was actually amazed at how well I am doing; based on the fact that I just had a baby. She gave me some antibiotics to make sure that I don't get anything worse from Isaac and Lizzie's colds. So because of the cold the cough that caught the whole thing is back and not very friendly. I did find out that I can take Sudifed, so hopefully that will help. She also said that since my white blood cell count was not bad and they are not worried about me being anemic this week so I am not on restrictions as of this week. I guess each week they will tell me if I can go out of the house. The nurse also said that the way that I reacted to this treatment will probably be the same way that I will react to the rest. Hopefully each time I will only be tired and have some cold symptoms. The worst part will probably be the hair loss but that's okay because it will grow back. So yea, thank you for your prayers they have definitely been working.