Day 16

Well, I have been waiting for day 15 and it came yesterday. The reason is because Eliza, a new friend who went through breast cancer with twins, told me that she started losing her hair on day 15 after the first chemo treatment. Yesterday was my day 15 and I had a few more hairs then I would have liked come out after my shower when I was rinsing out my hair. Also my scalp feels like I had my hair in a ponytail for a really long time and I just let it down; it's also very itchy. I don't know if it is just me being paranoid.
Yesterday afternoon I went to the cancer center for my second CBC (cell blood count). I saw Dr. Kanard and she was very optimistic, except for my hair. She said after pulling a clump out that I will probably want to shave it in a few days. That makes me a little nervous! Lizzie is going to be blessed in church on Sunday and I am hoping that I will still have hair and not just in some places. Lisa, one of my nurses had cancer and lost her hair but she didn't want to loose it so she said after the 3rd treatment she had so few long hairs that she looked like Smegal from "Lord of the Rings".
Anyway, my white blood cells are good 11.4; and my hemoglobin count is 17 something. I also found out that I can get a flu shot as long as it is before next Thursday which is my next Chemo treatment. Dr. Kanard and the rest of the nurses were really funny because they told me that next time I needed to bring Lizzie with me because most patients at the Cancer Center were old and they rarely see babies. She said that if I didn't live so far away she would have made me go home to get her. I told them that it's a good thing that I'm not saying who is looking after the kids (my mother-in-law, who lives about a minute, if that, away). They laughed and said that I better bring her next time.
I think that is about it for this week. So far as you can tell the hardest part about this whole experience is thinking about loosing my hair. It's a weird thing how we women are so attached to our hair; but it is apart of who we are. I think the other thing that is so hard to think about and picture for that matter is loosing my eyebrows and eyelashes. Their both black and it will be so weird to have to draw eyebrows in.
I still feel so blessed everyday to have such a wonderful support system. My patriarchal blessing says that I will have people who love me wherever I go. I know it is true now. I also think it is such a wonderful thing to have the comfort of the Holy Ghost. To know that there is a plan for me and that I was probably a part of it and to look at this from a bigger perspective it makes all of it easier to deal with. I love you all and I thank you for looking over me.